Does anyone here have someone that they were wronged by BUT have forgiven?
Does anyone here have someone that they were wronged by and have NOT forgiven?
Story:
On July 17, 2015, twenty-one-year old Dylann Roof entered Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, and was welcomed into a Wednesday night Bible study. An hour later, as the members closed their eyes to pray, he stood up and started shooting. By the time it was over, nine people were dead, with each of the victims having been shot at least five times.1 In his journal, Roof stated that he specifically wanted to kill the people in the church because they were black.2 It was a horrific act that shattered families and outraged a nation. But perhaps what shocked people even more was the reaction of some of the victims’ families. Yes, they wanted justice, but personally, they forgave him. Instead of seeking revenge, they prayed for his soul, despite their own incredible pain. Nadine Collier, whose mother was one of the victims, told Roof, “I forgive you. You took something very precious away from me. I will never get to talk to her ever again. I will never be able to hold her again, but I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul.”3 Collier’s brave words prompted astonishment and questions. How could someone forgive someone like him? In the parable of the unforgiving servant, we learn how central forgiveness is to the Christian life, because forgiveness is at the root of what God shows us in his grace.
Read: Matthew 18: 21-35
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22. Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.
25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
27. The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30. “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
34. In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Any thoughts?
21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Why does Peter say 7?
7 is the numbers that represented “fullness” (which is an increase over the jewish custom of 3 times) Some say Peter is hoping to sound extremely loving by this
22. Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Or 70×7)
Why does Jesus say 77? Seems like a lot of numbers thrown around.
Jesus goes 10 times more. 10 was also considered completeness. So Jesus is essentially saying completeness times completeness or Infinity. Basically, Jesus is saying that God’s mercy is too great to measure.
The jewish mindset is on rules and regulations. Peter is trying to take the “norm” and improve on it, but it is still based on works and misses the heart of God.
Genesis 4:24. If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times.”
Jesus is unlimited forgiveness in contrast to unlimited vindictiveness in Cains line.
So Jesus tries to demonstrate this in a parable.
23. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
It is put yourself in their place time. This is like an IRS audit but much worse. It is a very tense situation. The is about money, maybe prison, maybe torcher. Maybe death.
(Then the Gov said they were adding 10 IRS agents, I got tense…still do) they will shake you down…not matter how “clean” you are.
24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.
How do you think he was “brought to him?”
How much was this? Could he pay this back?
The talent was the highest unit of currency in the ancient Greco-Roman world. It was the equivalent of six thousand denarii. Since a denarius was considered one day’s wage for a day laborer, this meant that if the person worked three hundred days out of the year, it would take twenty years to earn one talent. If the servant owed ten thousand talents, the total would come to two hundred thousand years’ wages!7 It could appropriately be translated as “billions of dollars.”8 In other words, it was an absurd amount.
What does this mean to us? The guy in the story knows he cannot possibly pay back. What is his terror like at this point?
Review Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23
Do we/people we know have that same terror?
25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
Because of his debt, his family is to be sold. Does this mean anything for us as fathers in our household. What is the spiritual leader of a home? How are you doing?
26. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
Would this patience satisfy the debt?
No, he was not able to pay as we showed above how much this dept was.
Seems silly, but do we ever offer resolutions to sin?
27. The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
The servant could not pay off his debt, so this was mercy.
28. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
Went out – right after his forgiveness, did he go looking for debtors?
Note – the debt is about 100 days wages. It is not nothing, but it is 1/600,000 of what was just forgiven him.
Grabbed his throat. – small debt , but intense ferocity was used.
29. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
These are the exact same words that the servant used with the king.
30. “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
Even though the debt was much smaller and the 2nd servant used the exact same language, he was not forgiven and thrown into prison until he could repay.
31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
Other servants saw what happened.. what does this imply?
The first servant did not see the sin, or did not care. No repentance.
Have any of you been in a situation where your fellow believers could see your sin but you could not?
32. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
When the master heard of this, he was understandably angry. It was just wrong for a man who has been forgiven so much to then be so unforgiving. He then gave the first servant what he deserved – justice instead of mercy.
33. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
34. In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
Of course he could never pay this back.
35. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The principle is clear. God has forgiven such a great debt, that any debt owed to us is absolutely insignificant in comparison. No man can possibly offend me to the extent that my sins have offended God. This principle must be applied in the little things done to us, but also to the great things done unto us.
Overall questions/discussion
One question is how the king’s behavior is related to God. In the beginning of the parable the master is exceedingly generous and gracious. By the end of the parable we are a bit afraid of him. Yes, the servant was ungrateful and unmerciful, but did the master really need to punish him that severely? He not only renews the servant’s debt, but also hands him over to the torturers!11
A second question arises from the observation that the first servant loses the forgiveness of his debt. This causes some to ask whether it implies that one can lose one’s salvation.
Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’
23. Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
A third question is whether human forgiveness is a prerequisite to divine forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Rather than human forgiveness being necessary for God’s forgiveness, the parable teaches the opposite. We can forgive because we have first been forgiven (Eph 4:32). Divine forgiveness is the means for human forgiveness. We are able to forgive because we have been forgiven much. The focus is on the greatness of God’s actions toward us.
So how do we respond? How do we forgive?
Forgiveness allows us to trust God. To forgive is to let go of the wrong, of the desire for revenge, and in the end, a release of the situation to the Lord.29 On the other side, a lack of forgiveness can cause great damage to our souls. An unforgiving spirit can be “a refusal to let go a wrong suffered that locks an individual into a prison of his own making, where resentment, bitterness, and anger become one’s constant companion.”30 Unfortunately, the path we too often pursue is not forgiveness, but revenge. If someone hurts us, sometimes we just want them to stop, but often we want to get even or at least show them what they did to us.
Numbers 14:18. ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’
in other words, justice or vengeance is for the lord. How can I forgive? Sometimes “I” can’t, but Jesus in me can. What God gives is not simply the command, but also the means. Consider these parts of Scripture that tell us that what God has given us is Christ himself. •
Romans 8:10: “But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.” •
1 Corinthians 1:30: It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
2 Corinthians 13:5: Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?•
Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” •
Ephesians 3:16–17: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.” •
Colossians 1:27: “God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
MAJOR TAKEAWAYS (optional)
1.The parable should be understood in the context of Peter’s question of how often he should forgive. Jesus wants to change Peter’s perspective from quantifying forgiveness to dwelling on the lavishness of God’s forgiveness and how that changes us.
2.The parable does not teach that someone can “lose their salvation” or that God desires to torture people who do not forgive. Rather, it shows the seriousness of forgiveness and what God has already done for us.
3.God’s forgiveness is based on his great compassion for us. It is not something that he does grudgingly or under compulsion.
4.Forgiveness is to be a defining characteristic of the people of God, a community of Christ’s followers who extend compassion and grace to one another.
5.God’s mercy does not invalidate God’s justice. Rather God’s justice leads to his mercy on us. 6.We cannot forgive on our own. The life of Christ himself dwelling in us can empower us to forgive.
Barnewall, Michelle Lee. Surprised by the Parables: Growing in Grace through the Stories of Jesus (p. 63). Lexham Press. Kindle Edition.
Print below to hand out.
If each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses: With this, Jesus taught an important and often neglected principle regarding forgiveness. There are many sincere Christians who withhold forgiveness from others for mistaken reasons – and they feel entirely justified in doing so.
i. Their reasoning works like this: We should not forgive another person who sins against us until they are properly repentant. This is because repentance is mentioned in the context of our commands to forgive (such as in Luke 17:4), and because our forgiveness to others is to be modeled after God’s forgiveness of us. Since God does not forgive us apart from repentance, so we should not forgive others unless they properly repent to us. We even have the duty to withhold such forgiveness and to judge their repentance, because it is ultimately in their best interest to do so.
ii. This thinking – even if it means well – is incorrect and ultimately dangerous. This parable shows us why it is incorrect for us to think, “God doesn’t forgive me without my repentance; therefore I must withhold forgiveness from others who sin against me until they properly repent.” That thinking is wrong, because I do not stand in the same place as God in the equation, and I never can. God stands as One who has never been forgiven and never needed forgiveness; I stand as one who has been forgiven and needs continual forgiveness.
iii. Therefore – if it were possible – we should be far quicker to forgive than God is, without precondition of repentance, because we stand as forgiven sinners who must also forgive. We have an even greater obligation to forgive than God does.
iv. Since we have been forgiven so much, we have no right to withhold forgiveness from others. We are the debtor forgiven almost an infinite debt; will we hold on to the small debts others owe to us? If anyone had the right to withhold forgiveness it is God – and He forgives more freely and more completely than anyone we know. What possible right do we have to hold on to our unforgiveness?
v. It is also important to understand that a distinction can and should be made between forgiveness and reconciliation. True reconciliation of relationship can only happen when both parties are agreeable to it, and this may require repentance on one or both of the parties in the conflict. Yet forgiveness can be one-sided.
vi. Furthermore, forgiveness does not necessarily shield someone from the civil or practical consequences of their sin. For example, a homeowner may personally forgive the man who robbed his house, yet it is still appropriate for the robber to be arrested and put in jail. On a personal level, forgiveness is required. On a civil and societal level, the man should be punished by the magistrates (Romans 13).
vii. Nevertheless, the principle clearly stands. In context, this parable was given to make us more forgiving, not less forgiving. No one could reasonably read this parable and think that Jesus was trying to restrict the forgiveness of His disciples.
viii. People who read this, “Therefore be somewhat stingy with forgiveness as your Father in heaven is somewhat stingy with forgiveness” miss the whole point of the parable. Instead, Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful (Luke 6:36).
ix. From his heart: This makes the command all the stronger. “If we forgive in words only, but not from our hearts, we remain under the same condemnation.” (Spurgeon)
c. So My heavenly Father also will do to you: It would be wrong to make this into the idea that unforgiveness itself is the unforgivable sin. It is better to say that forgiveness is evidence of truly being forgiven, and that habitual unforgiveness may show that a person’s heart has never really been touched by the love of Jesus.
i. “Those who will not forgive cannot expect to be forgiven.” (France) As James later wrote, judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. (James 2:13)
ii. Additionally, we remember the punishment of the unforgiving man in the parable of Jesus: the master delivered him to the torturers. There are many poor souls who are tortured by their own unforgiveness toward others. 2018 David Guzik https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/matthew-18/